There seems to be a fear of using outside help when dealing with a family member facing a disability or recovery from a serious illness or injury. The great American independent spirit can actually hurt you. Statistics show that caregivers often become ill themselves from trying to do too much.
One possible solution to the care-giving dilemma: Why not explore the use of a geriatric care manager? These nurturing individuals can do many things, from counseling and support to coordination of care providers. Rochester's nursing agencies and community service organizations have wonderful geriatric care managers on staff. Try contacting HCR or Jewish Family Service of Rochester. They have been invaluable with my clients. Outside of Rochester, the National Association of Professional Geriatric Caregivers offers a searchable site to find a caregiver in your area.
Always keep in mind that geriatric care managers are a valuable addition to a senior's team of advisors. They should not take the place of the elder law attorney. While many social workers and care managers certainly understand Medicaid options, they are not attorneys and cannot advise you or your family on the law.